Lets start a fire, biggest one you've ever seen...

Still depressed. There seems to be no progress with the legal team handling our case, we've heard nothing from disability, and it looks like my mother's christmas bonus is all going to rent. She's going to try to go back to work, don't really know how that's going to pan out.

I can deal with the fact that I will have to get rides to work throughout the duration of the coming winter and the storms it will bring, continuing the seemingly endless cycle of being denied my independence. I can deal with the fact that christmas is going to be just another day devoid of meaning considering we can't even afford groceries and rent on our own. I can even deal, as hard as it may be, with the fact that my progress in life has not only stopped, but been put in reverse. But I am still not able to deal with the loss the one thing that symbolized my freedom, my reward for persevering for 8 years of empty slave-like routine, and the ability to provide myself with that better life that I finally ached for - my very first and probably the nicest car I will ever own. No four digit combination of numbers on a check I am handed will ever make up for that.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Life is currently a shitstorm of depression, insomnia, poor eating habits and - I suppose due to the fact that I couldn't care less about any of that - apathy. Someday soon perhaps I'll elaborate on whats gotten me to this point, but we'll just say that life as I knew it a little over a month ago is gone. Those of you who do know what's ailing me, thanks for all your support. Might not be updating this for a while.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Man, I see in non-theists the strongest and smartest men who have ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. Goddammit, entire generations going to church, praying for forgiveness, mental slaves with no direction. Religion has them preaching about 'hell' and 'sin', having tax-exempt status so they can buy shit they don't need. They're the misanthropes of history, man; no purpose or place. They have no great minds, no great achievements. Their great minds believe God will solve it all. Their great achievements are their lies... We've all been raised by our parents to believe that they'd be loving and tolerant and Christ-like. But they won't; and we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew, then disappeared
The curtains flew, then he appeared
Saying don't be afraid

Come on baby
And she had no fear
And she ran to him
Then they started to fly
They looked backward and said goodbye
She had become like they are
She had taken his hand
She had become like they are

Come on baby, don't fear the reaper

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

A crippled, fake summer came and went practically in a matter of weeks, and now it's time to endure the ridiculous gauntlet of harsh fall winds and endless gray winter skies. Bitching about it really won't change anything, but I can't help it.

I dread this time of year to no end, and in fact had to start clinging to Christmas as a kind of half-way point milestone event between the pure torment of what I like to call WINTUMN, and the calming Sun-worshipper friendly weather of what I also enjoy calling SPRUMMER. It isn't because I have to ride my bike to work during Wintumn and thus need someone else for a ride during the worst of it, because that's being taken care of once and for all. I will probably have my license by mid-December, with enough practice. It isn't because Wintumn is filled with holidays that I have no family to celebrate them with. It isn't because Wintumn makes things extremely busy at work, I actually enjoy that for a change.

It's because, for some reason, one of the major contributing factors to my mood from day to day is the weather (some of the others are what my hair looks like, the moods of those around me, and what music I listen to). If the weather is kind to me and let's me worship the closest thing to a higher power my almost total lack of spirituality can find, then I'm great. But if it's BULLSHIT weather that helps to prevent from me from doing that, then there's a problem and I kinda throw mental temper tantrums. And yes, I associate bright skies, the Sun being out until 8PM, warm nights, and nimbus clouds with good weather, and associate overcast (gray skies without rain), cold winds, dirt and dead leaf particles being thrust violently into my face, and the fucking Sun setting at 5PM with bullshit weather. I apologize to the lovely Tinaviel in advance for this, but to quote the prophetic one Lewis Black, "The fall is finally here and all I can say is, 'FUCK FALL.'"

That being said, I AM looking forward to the rain, but that's just it - we won't fucking get any. We never get much, it rains poorly once every two weeks for a couple days, and then nothing. I love the atmosphere of rain, the idea that water falls from the sky is just too fascinating. I assume I'd feel the same if anything did that. Fire or candy bars or beavers or Dallas Cowboy jerseys, for instance. Well, maybe not George Bush's toe-nail clippings... Yeah, definitely not that. Or bodily fluids. You know the one I'm thinking of. =(

/pissingandmoaning

I've been on a bit of an astronomy binge lately. Learning about how it was discovered that Pluto wasn't really a planet and was demoted, hearing all these incredible facts about how terrifying and beautiful the cosmos is, and most importantly of all, knowing that all the core chemical elements that make up us as humans are the same core chemical elements that make up the rest of the universe makes me realize that if I had to pick a dream-profession, it would be astrophysicist. The concepts of intersecting black holes, and "dark matter" (of which we are completely ignorant to as a whole), and even crazier stuff like the multi-verse theory that multiple universe's gravitational forces are overlapping our own, which actually helps to explain what dark matter is... Is SO beyond satisfying to me. It's like my mind is getting nonstop blowjobs from the universe. I mean between Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson and Stephen Hawking, that's it. Hook me up with some PhDs already. I want to really start committing to science, and start being less of this sort of cheerleader on the sidelines. Nothing too huge, maybe I'll be the guy who gets the team Gatorade? Thanks to Breaking Bad, I now want a periodic table of the elements poster, and a map of the orbital patterns of the planets would be pretty bitchin' too.

The amount of 5-star metal albums being produced these days is kinda making my head spin. And we still have Katatonia - Night Is The New Day, Devin Townsend Project - Addicted, and To-Mera - Earthbound EP to sift through, all of which sound fucking beyond amazing from the samples their respective myspace pages provide. My Skeletonwitch - Breathing The Fire cd+shirt package arrived yesterday, and the shirt is really high quality print. The fiery colors turns out really vibrant, and I am thoroughly pleased. It also came with this sweet-ass logo patch! Now to find room for it on my vest, along with the Evile one I got some time ago. I also pre-ordered the Nile - Those Whom The Gods Detest and Scar Symmetry - Dark Matter Dimensions ones, the former of which won't be here until early November, and the latter of which should be here any day.

In gaming news, my new nVidia 250 GTS is ripping Crysis to shreds. That game is so fucking sweet. The alien ship level is probably going to become one of my all-time favorite levels from a video game. Anti-gravity, mind-blowingly intricate and unorthodox design, and choking/punching the shit out of asshole aliens = So. Much. Win. The nano-suit, the vehicles, the rad as fuck guns, THE GRAPHICS MY MACHINE CAN NOW RUN ON HIGH WITH PERFECT FRAME RATE, it all works seamlessly to make my balls tingle like I just rubbed IcyHot on 'em. Playing it on a 32" screen doesn't exactly hurt, either. Also, I'm still very much looking forward to Borderlands and Bioshock 2 which, if you haven't researched, I strongly suggest you look into. Last but not least, guess what iconic figures are making their return to the Nintendo universe in New Super Mario Bros. Wii? That's right, fuckers. The goddamn Koopa Kids. MY LEMMY'S BACK, BITCHES. Cannot wait to see some artwork/3-D renders of them, hopefully Nintendo won't blow it. Guess I'm keeping my Wii after all...?

Time to chug this coffee, browse some 4chan, play more Crysis, and then trek off to work to be a coffee slave. Merry Shredmas to all and to all shut the hell up.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Meme time!

Post a picture in my comments that you think describes me when you think about what/who I am. No matter how surreal or plain. Give no written explanation. Just an image.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

For we who are about to die... salute you.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Fuckin ay, it's been a month since I updated this poor neglected digital rant-a-thon. I guess Facebook really has been eating up all my time. Well that and the slew of new amazing metal albums. Pretty much makes me feel like this guy:



Let's go down the list, shall we?

• Nile - Those Whom The Gods Detest: 9.0 Just when I had given up on Nile ever writing anything interesting ever again after In Their Darkened Shrines (yes, two albums of fail later) they come out of nowhere with this blistering hot onslaught of soul-shitting brutality. This album with ram spears through your balls and if you don't have any - ladies beware! - it will make you grow a set.
  
• Immortal - All Shall Fall: 8.5 Having never been an aficionado of Immortal (or black metal, for that matter) I must say this album rules. Very memorable songs, never a dull moment, and the production aint half bad... for a black metal album.
  
• Tenet - Sovereign: 7.5 Holy shit why did no one tell me the remaining members of SYL teamed up with classic Exodus vocalist Zetro? This is fucking amazing thrashy balls-out heavy metal. I would imagine the most efficient use of this album would come while chasing emo kids down in monster trucks while inhaling whiskey and steak.
  
• Scar Symmetry - Dark Matter Dimensions: 9.5 My impressions on this should be obvious, as these guys are one of my favorite metal bands of all time. They just keep getting better, and this is no exception. Unlike their previous effort "Holographic Universe", there is not a single track on here I do not absolutely love. The new vocalists are fantastic, fuck the naysayers. It took two of them to replace Alvestam, but they hit the spot perfectly.
  
• Revocation - Existence Is Futile: 8.0 Not as good as their debut "Empire Of The Obscene," but that's expected as that album was damn near perfect. Some of the best freshest death/thrash you are likely to hear for years to come.
  
• Alice In Chains - Black Gives Way To Blue: 8.0 I am so glad this didn't suck. Speaks from the heart, and slowly rolls over you like the classic albums did a decade and a half ago. Alice is such a class act, and really, I can't fault them any longer for wanting to make more music together now that I see it isn't at all financially-motivated.
  
• Megadeth - Endgame: 8.0 WOW. This is the fuckin' Megadave album we've been waiting for since we first heard snippets online of Kick The Chair so many years ago.
  
• Municipal Waste - Massive Aggressive: 7.5 Again, not as good as their previous work "The Art Of Partying", but holy shit it's a vicious effort. As the title says, it's a much more aggressive approach to their usual style of crossover thrash.
  

As of yet unlistened to/unreleased and looking forward to:

• Devin Townsend Project - Addicted
  
• Katatonia - Night Is The New Day
  
• Skeletonwitch - Breathing The Fire
  
• Baroness - Blue Album
  
• The Chasm - Farseeing the Paranormal Abysm
  

When not swimming in ecstasy from all the ridiculously high quality metal more than making up for the last year or more of stagnation, I've been enjoying my new XFX nVidia GeForce 250 1GB video card, which when couple with my beast of a machine runs Crysis on High at 60+fps. What's the longest you've waited to play a game you anticipated? I've waited OVER TWO FUCKING YEARS.

I am also feeling the last few lingering traces of the... whatever the fuck it was I had for the past couple days that gave me a fever of fucking 101. It's nice waking up thinking you're on fire from the multiple dreams you've just experienced with that recurring theme, and because your body temperature is in triple digits, yet you're shivering like a fucking vibrator on high. I haven't been truly SICKsick in years and years, so I am very glad that bullshit is over and my beefy immune system fought it off in a matter of a couple days. Now I can get back to my regular routine of 35-hour work weeks, piss-poor diet and sporadic sleeping pattern!

Also, a big thank you to everyone who showed concern over my mother's situation at work. She took the necessary steps, the situation's being handled, and for the most part things are looking up for her. She had a lot of support from her fellow employees and the wretched scumbag involved is THIS CLOSE to having his 18 years of service with the company disregarded and being terminated.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

My mother has been being sexually harassed heavily at work. For months. Verbally, and physically. And kept her mouth shut.

I do not believe I have ever truly felt rage until now. Pure, hateful rage.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

You know folks, in my travels as a pessimist-turned-optimist, a happy-go-lucky fellow with a renewed sense of faith in humanity, I often get lost in the boredom of daily life in civilized 21st century America, and let most things slide. For instance, if I hear about some terrible news story, like a tragic school shooting or a bank robbery involving officers killed in the act of duty, I'll just chock it up to being just another unfortunate side-effect of living in a quote unquote free society.

But then I read a story like this, and I'm dragged back to reality, kicking and screaming.

It is then that I realize just what fucking depths of wretchedness human beings are capable of degenerating to. This kind of shit happens so often, this type of story. I, someone who does not look at newspapers or blogs hardly ever, who avoids television news like the plague, know of three specific stories like this I've seen or heard of in the past year or so. Whenever I hear about them, I always think the same thing. As soon as a certain number of details filter into my brain, I sort of imagine someone sitting down and saying to themselves, "You know, if I were to come up with the most vile fucked up news story imaginable, what would it be?"

How can it get any worse than that? How? How in the fuck can you top sexual torture for decades? Imagine it, if only for a moment. Imagine that is your life. From the age of 11, kidnapped and raped on probably a daily basis. Forced to father multiple offspring whom you have to watch be subjected to the same type of abuse as they themselves become your only human contact. Worst of all, this all happens while being locked up in worse conditions, in a more inhumane fashion, and for a longer period of time than the person doing this to you would ever be sentenced to in a court-of-law were he ever caught?

The kicker is that this scumbag piece of shit was talking to god through a box. What a fucking surprise. How could you have a tale of such unimaginably disgusting proportions without religion somehow playing its role. But I digress, as touching on that note any further will probably either make my head explode or my knuckles bleed.

I really hope if I ever complain about anything ever again that my memory will serve me well enough to remember this type of shit so I can slap the fuck out of myself. Reading that story, I feel so much more heartbroken than I ever have because of a woman's actions or words.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

P.S. To end on sort of a positive note, I wonder what Dexter would do with this fucker. Or Rorschach, for that matter.

Something happened tonight that I did not expect. And it's kind of bothering me more than I should be letting it, but not in a sorrowful way. I'm kind of pissed off at myself.

I mask my contempt at work for her fairly well these days. Usually I get away with it, and sometimes I'll hear from other co-workers that she speaks negatively of me when I'm not there. This is a very good development.

Today she had a funeral to go to for her step-sister, and got her shift covered. I thought I wouldn't have to see her all day (I usually work with her most Mondays) and was working instead with some of my favorites. And then she came in... with her mother. Now, maybe I never mentioned this, but her mom is for all intents and purposes a Jesus freak. She even refers to herself as such, I think only partly in jest. But she and I got along well, maybe a little too well. She's just a very sweet, very geniune, very positive person, where Sam is almost entirely the opposite.

I occupied myself with cleaning out one of our fridges while she ordered, and suddenly her mom is behind me and I hear, "Is that my boy?" I turned around and greeted her with a smile, gave her the hug she made clear she wanted with her arms out-stretched, and then she kissed my cheek. She told me she missed me, and all that business.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is this shit common? Basically, whenever I see her mom now, she seems to pretend that we, her daughter and I, aren't broken up or something. And it usually has little affect on me, but tonight... It hit me pretty hard the rest of the night. I just kept thinking of all the bullshit, knowing full-well her mother knew probably none of it... That her daughter uses people for sex, and is one step away from being a full-blown nymphomaniac, that she's a closet racist, and that she basically wishes she was dead. I guess the reason it hit me the hardest is it reminded me of being told I was a bad boyfriend, despite my endless efforts at being the contrary, due to what she considers a lack of interest I expressed in her family in the THREE AND A HALF WEEKS WE WERE TOGETHER.

Don't get me wrong, I'm over her entirely and if given the opportunity would not continue our relationship no matter what. It's not so much that I miss her, it's that I miss having a girlfriend. When the times were good they were great, and now that they're gone, I'm left with a sample, a taste of what could be. And I want more.

I'm going to take my usual musical dosage (500mg of Threshold), try to sleep this off, and hope for the best. I just feel like decking myself. Get the fuck over it, you whiny little bitch.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Greetings meatbags. If you've been wondering what the shit happened to me, I've been obsessed with some dumbass site called facebook for like 2 weeks now, shits retarded and junk. El oh el. I recently posted pictures of my vest (finally), if any of you are interested they are ( behind the cut. )

Driving is going well. I have decided to name her Aidia, but given that she's black and has a giant ass I should have named her Shaniqua or Laquisha some shit. I'm almost ready to take her out onto busy streets, non-residential areas, that sort of thing. After I tackle that for a while, it will be freeway time. I'm actually more scared of driving around town than I am of being on the fucking freeway. That shit's simple, everybody goes fast, in a straight line, forever. The only way it could be bad is during rush hour, which I of course will avoid until I feel confident enough to not bash head-on into the myriad gangbang of dickholes and shitfucks out there.

District 9 and Inglorious Basterds are both beyond stellar film-making, and if you don't like them both, kill yourself. Also, Shadow Complex is one of the best games that will come out this year. It could best be described as Metroidal Gear Solid-vania.

Been watching a fucking awesome show on AMC called Breaking Bad, you may have heard of it when it won 2 Emmys based on a tiny 7 episode season of pure win. Now it's up for 5, and stars the dad from Malcolm In The Middle. Some of the best cinematography and writing in a show I've come across in years. Look it up, watch it, love it, and then go cook some meth with your old high school chem teacher. ???. Profit.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

P.S. Fuck

First things first: Someone buy me this shirt right fucking now.

Holy hell life got awesome all of a sudden! Been pretty much hanging out with friends, getting caught in the middle of ridiculous shenanigans at In N Out, watching Smokin' Aces, and helping a co-worker move a few doors down.

Can I just say something? There is nothing like being around a few huge sweaty smelly WoW nerds to really make you hate humanity. The one plus was one of my other co-worker's brother was there to help, who was awesome, and sort of like a tamer version of my friend Bill before he cut his hair and trimmed his beard. But hey, I got free pizza, energy drinks, a wonderful afternoon summer workout and good conversation out of the whole deal, so I win.

Going on a hike tomorrow, following Tuesday by SEEING MEGHAN AGAIN AFTER LIKE 2 DAMN YEARS. We're picking up her parents from LAX, where I have never been... Should be mouthrapingly good fun! I think I may have scored us a tape adapter, which means I'm shoving Penn Radio down her throat for 2 or 3 hours. Libertarian atheist skeptics for life!

I'll have to take pics of my newly washed car, with brutal as fuck stickers applied to the bumper for maximum nerdy metallic madness. I really need to find more time to go driving, gotta get this shit done. I'm now at the phase where I not only want to drive more, I actually want to get my license asap so I can go wherever I want. This is kind of unprecedented. I guess I just love my car more than I could have imagined. What ever will I name her?

SAIL INTO BATTLE, GLORY AND METAL!

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

http://www.bustedtees.com/desmondismyconstant

Dear fucking lord I need that NOW.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Remember I mentioned needing more old school metal shirts? Well lucky fuckin' me, look what I won on eBay for 40 bucks.



6 metal shirts, all of which are small except for the Motorhead one which is large AND sleeveless, which is perfect for a co-worker of mine who loves them and wears sleeveless shirts all the time! They're all almost new, lightly worn, and are exactly what I wanted. I now have 2 Megadeth, 2 Iron Maiden, 2 Pantera, 1 Slayer and 1 Metallica shirt. I fucking win.

Helping not one but TWO co-workers both move on Friday. The things I do for women I wouldn't mind screwing... Lawlz.

Gotta kick up the driving into high gear (hur hur car puns) if I wanna meet my deadline of a month and a half to two months until I have my license. Summer needs to slow the fuck down, honestly!

Oh yeah, fuck sundays. That is all!

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Threshold - One Degree Down

No sense in admitting I’m weary from the wait
No sense in pretending that I’m pressing on the gate
No power in a promise that I can find the cause
All it takes are a few mistakes so how can I be sure?

What if I fall? What happens next?
What if my foundation was a thought out of context?
No power in a process that leaves me in the dark
So I’ll just go with what I know, it’s written on my heart

But though it’s late in the day

I know I’ll find my way soon
Show me a place in the sun
Cause somewhere on the journey is the strength to go on
So let the dark fade
Show me a break in the cloud
Cause every day I’m waiting brings me one degree down


No shame in admitting I feel a little scared
No sense in pretending that I’ll know before I’m there
No power in a promise with no authority
All it takes are a few mistakes before I’m lost at sea

But though it’s late in the day

I know I’ll find my way soon
Show me a place in the sun
Cause somewhere on the journey is the strength to go on
So let the dark fade
Show me a break in the cloud
Cause every day I’m waiting brings me one degree down


I feel this inclination leading me to doubt my destination
I used up all my patience all the time I waited at the station

I don’t want to break the sky
I’m not going to come back down
I don’t want to lose my mind
I’m too far gone to turn back now

I can’t avoid the feeling - maybe all the signs could be misleading?
With all my senses reeling when I saw my dreams all hit the ceiling

I don’t want to break the sky
I’m not going to come back down
I don’t want to lose my mind
I’m too far gone to turn back now


No need for reflecting on why it took so long
No need for rejecting this road I’m walking on
No point reminiscing on things I can’t repair
All it takes are a few good breaks and suddenly I’m there

But though it’s late in the day

I know I’ll find my way soon
Show me a place in the sun
Cause somewhere on the journey is the strength to go on
So let the dark fade
Show me a break in the cloud
Cause every day I’m waiting brings me one degree down

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

I apologize for my absence as of late, but life has been smothered in bullshit that I've now taken care of once and for all. Maybe one day I'll reveal in full here what exactly I'm talking about, since I never really spoke much of what went on with she and I. The "grieving" process is over, though I really hate to call it that, and I'm ready to focus my love and attention on the three most precious things to me at the moment: summer, metal, and my car.

I've been driving more, and I'm really enjoying it more than I ever thought I could. Maybe because I haven't had to interact much with other traffic, other drivers... But so far so good. I'm getting a really good handle on what my car is like, the acceleration and the turning, using the signals, checking mirrors, looking around, remaining focused. I'm gonna have it washed and detailed on the inside soon, so I can start pimping it the fuck out with stickers and other goofy shit. <3

Today should be fun. After nonstop horseshit at work, being dragged into 35 hour work weeks over and over, I finally have 3 days off instead of just 1. Today I think I'll spend the day doing laundry, cleaning my room, playing some Fallout 3, watching the extra shit on the Watchmen: Director's Cut (which by the way IS FUCKING PERFECT), maybe bike around town for a couple hours, and then hit up the mall with my mom when she gets off work. And who knows, I might even *gasp* BUY SOMETHING FOR MYSELF.

I need you guys' help. I need someone to help me locate S size Metallica, Slayer, or Iron Maiden shirts. I desperately need more old school metal attire, and no one seems to carry any of the above. For Metallica, any of the first four album covers should be good, along with this design from AJFA. For Slayer, Reign In Blood or South Of Heaven is really all I'm interested in. Iron Maiden, the Aces High design or the Run To The Hills one is good.

Here, enjoy this list of metal albums I'm super stoked for:

Aug 11 - Behemoth - Evangelion
Aug 28 - Municipal Waste - Massive Aggressive
Sep 09 - Ensiferum - From Afar
Sep 15 - Megadeth - Endgame
Sep 22 - Evile - Infected Nations
Sep 28 - Arch Enemy - The Root Of All Evil
Sep 29 - Alice In Chains - Black Gives Way To Blue
Sep 29 - Revocation - Existence Is Futile
Oct 10 - Scar Symmetry - Dark Matter Dimensions
Oct 23 - Hypocrisy - A Taste Of Extreme Divinity
Oct 27 - Katatonia - Night Is The New Day
Q4 09 - Devin Townsend - Addicted
Q1 10 - Nevermore - The Obsidian Conspiracy
TBA - Slayer - World Painted Blood

Someone help me name my car. She's black, has a nice big ass, and is a damn smooth ride. See, I was thinking of naming her after Warrel's girlfriend from Dreaming Neon Black since she IS a black Dodge Neon, but I'm ashamed to say I don't even know what her name was. So, if someone could help with that info I would totally award you some internets.

Until next time kiddies... Up the irons!

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

P.S. Been downright obsessed with this song and video for a good 4 days now. Never been a Depeche Mode fan, but that may change now? It seems like such a great idea for a song, it's a wonder it hasn't been done by now.

(I wasn't going to even bother, but I figured, what the hell.)

Subject: I hope someone shows this to you.

Thank you. I'm glad you "unfriended me on myspace" while I was gone, it was a nice laugh to come home to. Still avoiding any form of confrontation, I see. Still a weak, frail little child.

But really, thank you. I mean that. It is a weight off my shoulders, just one of many you've put there. At least now I won't have to put up with you in this digital world. If only I didn't have to tolerate you at work ever again... Listening to your horrible doll-like pull-chord phrases you spew out no matter what anyone says... Remembering all the lies and the temper tantrums and the mood swings and the gauntlet of torment you put me through as you avoid helping me no matter what station I'm on, but that would imply that you do your job in the first place... I'm also glad everyone notices what a shrill cunt you are to me on a daily basis, it helps make me feel very vindicated.

How ironic that, despite all the effort you put into being pretty on the outside, you don't have many opportunities to show everyone else what a genuinely bad person you are on the inside. I consider you now a moment of weakness in my life, that I couldn't see past the veil of bullshit. Despite what you said over and over, I should have known you could never really love me; you can't even love yourself.

While I myself am thankful to you, I would hope that in turn you would be thankful to me. Thankful for continuing to be the adult in the equation, and not uncover the truth about who you really are inside. If people had any clue at all about what you've done, and with whom it was done, they would know just as I do what a shallow, self-absorbed, insincere, immature, insane, racist, immoral waste of time you are.

So yes, again, thank you. And again, I do mean that. Thank you for showing me just what I need to avoid in women, what I will never allow myself to be put through again. Thank you for making my once mushy and sentimental heart indestructible, tempered through an avalanche of jagged memories and empty words. You are by far the worst girlfriend I could have ever imagined allowing myself to have.

~The Best Thing You Ever Had


Yup.

Nosce te ipsum,
~AIDS

Leave me a comment and I will give you a letter. Then, go to your journal and post ten things you love starting with that letter. Give your friends letters, too.


Pain - something I absolutely feel must be part of a better understanding of your own humanity, and the humanity of everyone around you. Pain, both physical and mental, is one of the greatest tools your mind has to use for self-discovery and the advancement of one's progress in life.

Pendulum - a drum and bass band from Australia, featured in many amatuer Team Fortress 2 "How To Play The" videos. Their debut album Hold Your Colour is sheer perfection from beginning to end, and will always remind me of summer (the time of year I discovered them) and Team Fortress 2.

Penn & Teller - My absolute heroes. Debunkers of stupid bullshit. Cheerleaders for science, atheism, skepticism, and libertarianism. Performers of the Magic Bullet at their own Penn & Teller theater at the Rio in Las Vegas, NE. Badasses to the max.

Perfect Dark - One of the greatest console-based first-person-shooters in history, currently being brought to XBLA (XBox Live Arcade). One of my first gaming obsessions along with Super Mario RPG, and The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time.

Phoenix - The mythical bird that rises from its own ashes, and is presented as a symbol of grace, rebirth, and beauty. It also represents fire, the element I have always felt drawn to the strongest, and helps remind me that no matter what happens in life, you can begin anew. You can try again, you can be given a second chance, and in turn, can also give second chances. As such, it sort acts as a moral guide for me as well, reminding me that forgiveness and redemption are powerful ideas. How arbitrary, no?

Pie - A delicious desert that should always be consumed with no less than 8 fluid ounces of vitamin D milk. My favorite is, of course, chocolate cream.

Pink - My favorite color, along with red, yellow, orange, and white - warm colors. I have no idea why I like it more than a green or a purple or a red, I just know that I do.

Powerglove - A "video game metal" band from Boston, MA who won my heart for life when they included the battle music in their epic 8-minute Final Fantasy 2/5 medley which was also featured in Super Mario RPG during the quintessential battle with Final Fantasy-inspired boss Culex. They kick ass, take names, and continue searching for the princess, despite the fact that she is never in the right castle.

Pyro - My 4th highest played class in Team Fortress 2, behind the Demoman, Engineer, and Heavy. Speaking of which, I just found a level 100 Flare Gun the other day! Too bad I hate that weapon, and never fucking use it. We have yet to see a Meet The Pyro video which, along with the pink purse found in the respawn locker room, leaves many to believe that the Pyro is in fact a woman.


And last, but certainly not least:

"Vagina" - :D

~AIDS

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it



Wisdom.

~AIDS

I'll have you know
That I've become

Indestructible
Determination that is incorruptible
From the other side, a terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable

Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around while you're alive
I'm an indestructible master of war


~AIDS

Things I Want But Can't Afford Because I'm Saving Up To Fix My Teeth And Pay For Car Insurance:

TF2 Mousepad
(http://store.valvesoftware.com/productpages/accessories/product_TF2TeamMousepad.html)

TF2 Heavy lithograph
(http://store.valvesoftware.com/tf2/tf2-lithograph.heavy.html)

TF2 Reliable Excavation Demoltion coffee mug
(http://store.valvesoftware.com/tf2/tf2-mug.team.html)

The Sims 3
(http://www.gamespot.com/pc/strategy/thesims3/index.html)

Obscura - Cosmogenesis shirt
(http://shop.relapse.com/store/product.aspx?ProductID=31549)

Evile - Enter The Grave shirt
(http://www.earache.com/webstore/product_info.php/cPath/680/products_id/760)

Lost - DHARMA Swan Station shirt
(http://abctvstore.seenon.com/detail.php?p=100778&v=abctvstore_lost)

Lost - DHARMA Staff Station shirt
(http://abctvstore.seenon.com/detail.php?p=100082&v=abctvstore_lost)


Fucknuggets!

~AIDS

The irony of religion is that because of its power to divert man to destructive courses, the world could actually come to an end.

The plain fact is, religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge having in key decisions made by religious people, by irrationalists, by those who would steer the ship of state not by a compass, but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken. George Bush prayed a lot about Iraq, but he didn't learn a lot about it.

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and elevate it are intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it's wonderful when someone says, "I'm willing, Lord! I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Except that, since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas.

And anyone who tells you they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you don't. How can I be so sure? Because I don't know, and you do not possess mental powers that I do not. The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but doubt. Doubt is humble, and that's what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong.

This is why rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a horrible price.

If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest. To do otherwise is to be an enabler, a mafia wife, for the true devils of extremism that draw their legitimacy from the billions of their fellow travelers. If the world does come to an end here, or wherever, or if it limps into the future, decimated by the effects of a religion-inspired nuclear terrorism, let's remember what the real problem was. We learned how to precipitate mass death before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it. That's it. Grow up or die.


~Bill Maher, Religulous

~AIDS

You know, I talk about my job often, but sort of in passing and in a way that wouldn't let you know what I actually do for a living. Allow me to enlighten you; I work at a coffee shop. Actually, it's a corporation rivaling Starbucks as their number one competitor in the U.S., known as the Coffee Bean And Tea Leaf. I have been there for 6 and a half fucking years.

Before you fucking ask, no I'm not the goddamn manager, no I'm not a fucking supervisor, and no I don't really want to be for several reasons. Now, usually it's a pretty neat job, but sometimes it just unrelentingly gang-rapes my fucking will to live and I just wanna collapse and fall asleep or something equally awkward. Tonight was one of those nights. I just need a fucking better job, this shit kills my body. My whole lower body just dies after an 8 hour shift, especially if it's closing which I rarely do anymore. I mean, it is where I work with my girlfriend Sam, but I need to get the fuck out of there. Getting my license and going back to school is crucial, and I'm really glad I've started down the path of bettering myself.

I aced my permit test, by the way. My dad and I are gonna head up to the DMV probably Tuesday and get the title for my car put in my name, then I'll be practicing like no fucking tomorrow. I expect to be driving comfortably with a license in two months. And that's hopefully driving an hour or so a day when I work, and several hours when I'm off, every single day.



Hopefully going swimming tomorrow with Sam at our co-worker's boyfriend's grandmother's (WTF!?) place, who has a heated pool. The co-worker and her boyfriend are hopefully accompanying us... Skinny dipping anyone?

~AIDS

Hello again jungle friends! Life is perking up for the moment, lots of excitement and wonder to behold and rub my balls all over. Sam and I are doing great thus far, we've been getting to know each other a lot better, meeting her family is so odd. I've never had total strangers take such a genuine interest in me as a person before, it's a bit weird.

Still recuperating from the LOST finale... I got another co-worker hooked on the show, which makes a total of 4 now. Just you wait Spoon, that season 5 finale will destroy your soul.

Taking my permit test today after I chug this coffee and shower. I'm fairly certain I'll ace it, seeing as I read through the DMV booklet twice, and aced the two sample tests they have at the very back. Already paid my dad for my share of my the Nevermoremobile, so I can start then jump behind the wheel and actually learn how to drive. Then I'll need seat covers to rid myself of that hideous Saved By The Bell interior, and get it repainted. Probably get a new stereo at some point, but the tape adapter will do for now.

Terminator was better than I expected, even with its giant flaws. Still wish we would have seen Up, though. On a side note, being kicked out of a jacuzzi 10 minutes after getting in, is such total bullshit.

~AIDS

One of my father's customers (he runs an auto-repair shop) is selling her '98 Dodge Neon Sport, since her husband died and left her a Volvo, and guess who's getting it? :D


High-res


High-res

It's 11 years old and has under 50,000 miles, it has a sunroof, A/C, a tapedeck which means tape adapter which means iPod, awful interior which can be easily remedied up with seatcovers, cup-holders, power windows, 4 doors, 4 cylinder, and surprisingly nice pick-up. The old lady never drove it very much apparently, and kept really good care of it. She's been having it serviced at my dad's shop since she got it around 5 years ago. There's some minor cosmetic wear near the back right side, some semi-long scratch marks, some paint fade on the spoiler and roof, and a scrape near the front of the hood from what looks like a garage door closing on it as the car pulled either in or out, but over all the car is in terrific shape. Drives great, from what I experienced while in it for about 15 minutes, but who gives a shit because HOLY CRAP I HAVE A CAR NOW I JUST NEED TO FINISH THIS GODDAMN DMV BOOKLET GET MY PERMIT AND START PRACTICING.

Wanna know the best part? It's a Dodge NEON, and it's BLACK. Dreaming Neon Black.

This is my Nevermoremobile.

~AIDS

Must remember to keep both feet on the ground.

Everything in my life is turning around.

*deep breath*

...ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN.

~AIDS

T minus 4 hours until my fucking head implodes like the Swan station. These season finale's always ramp my emotions up to maximum, and I know I'm gonna cry, and feel totally indescribable afterwards, and that for the 2 hours it's on it'll be like Christmas all over again. Neatly wrapped chunks of the episode presented to me in between commercials, pausing only to bask in the wonder and amazement of how fucking great the show is, and reflect on how the shit it's ended up here. Afterward I'll keep reminding myself that there's only one season left, and how in the fuck are they going to wrap it all up, and what in the world am I going to do once it's over and the dust settles? Who knows.

I have prepared myself. A night of tacos, TF2 (titties once Sam gets off work) and time travel awaits!

~AIDS

P.S. Holy Sniper update Batman!!!

Happy birthday Jim Sheppard! And me! :D How cool is that, I share a birthday with one of the founding members of my favorite metal band ever?

My mom is baking me a cake, my dad's taking me out to a steakhouse, I'm treating myself to some Fallouty and Teamy Fortressy goodness through-out the day, and finishing things up with my best gal pal later tonight (if you catch my drift!)

Man, things certainly have changed since last year. If you had told me I'd be living in a place with hardwood floors, dating a babe from work, getting extensive dental work done on my teeth, and be working on being in the best physical and mental shape of my life, I would have laughed my fatty acids off. And I thought I had a pretty good handle on things before!

I'm really grateful to myself that I have the life I do, surrounded by the people I love, and that I have the outlook on life and myself that I've developed over the past few years. I used to be such a whiny bitchy little nothing, completely a slave to what I had deemed as my shitty life stuck in a horrible trailer park, sleeping with bugs, and generally despising life. And I didn't need Jesus or faith to fucking get my act together and realize I needed to upgrade my quality of life, I just fucking did it. Sometimes that's all the motivation you need, and it really saddens me that more people need to inject some false inspiration into their lives to see through the bullshit and get it together. Maybe I'm alone on that, but at some point you just have to open your fucking eyes a little and take a look around you, evaluate what you see, and respond accordingly.

~AIDS

Star Trek was fucking amazing. What a great first birthday present. I have no emotional stake in the Trekkie world at all, never seen a single episode or film or read any of the books, but godDAMN that movie touched me in places only my new girlfriend is allowed. I mean really, hit me down deep in the twisted chasms of my geekdom. Go see that shit tomorrow.

Live long and prosper. \\//

~AIDS

P.S. Fuck George Lucas!!!

Weekend was fantastic. Except for when I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and wanted to punch every fucking writer producer and digital effects person involved right in the balls.

Yesterday I had a date. YES I KNOW A DATE RIGHT WTF? Sam and I went to this nice quiet little italian place called Ottavio's, listening to Bloodbath on the way, and scarfing like animals. We also came back home and watched The Count Of Monte Cristo, an incredibly underrated film that I suggest you all see. Grade A example of how to exact revenge and acquire a slightly annoying SNL cast member as a human slave for the rest of your life!

Been listening to Ocean Machine and Ki lately, both of which have totally blown me away with their sheer power and minimalism, respectively. If anyone has a non-promo copy of the new Alestorm, let me know. Every time an album leaks with voiceovers, god rapes a small cute furry animal 14 times in the mouth with his omnicock.

And thus begins a new week of amazement. Wednesday Fallout 3: Broken Steel DLC hits, second to last episode of Lost's 5th season is on, and then Friday is my birthday. Sam says I can expect something... very pleasant. ;D

Time for some mothafuckin coffeeeeehhhhYAAAAAAAH!!1

~AIDS

Please do not go see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It is one of the worst movies I have ever paid to see. That is all.

Oh, and in other news...

</virginity> :D

~AIDS

I'm almost done with Watchmen, and I have to say, very fucking impressed. Ozymandias is giving his schpeel about Alexander of Macedonia, and I gotta admit, it's really fucking hot. And as if the brilliance of the novel itself wasn't enough, the quote from Damon Lindelof (co-creator of Lost) on the back is a nice way to qualify the whole experience: "The greatest piece of popular fiction ever produced."

So my friend Bill and I have decided to sort of be Progress Buddies. Here's whats gonna happen, he's gonna call every once in a while, and I'm supposed to get on him about updating his resume and getting it out there because he really wants to get a different job, and he's supposed to get on me about reading the driving manual and getting my driver's license. I think this has the potential to be really mutually beneficial, considering we both need mega changes in our lives in order to sort of advance to the next level of happiness and calm in our lives.

This is all I will say on this subject for now: there is a girl at work, and she and I have both expressed that we like each other (jesus christ, does this shit always have to be so 5th grade or what?). She just dumped her dickhead boyfriend, and after a long talk, we're both hoping things between us heat up. Here's to (potentially) my first girlfriend! Yes that's right folks, one I can actually fuck!

It's been hot as fuck the past few days and I cannot enjoy it enough. I even got slightly sunburned on one arm while driving around town blarring Meshuggah in my buddy Alex's car! We were checking out bike shops, since we both want to go riding a lot this summer and he's sort of a cycling expert, knows his shit about building a good road bike. Lightweight carbon fiber bikes are so fucking cool to ride. Some of them cost upwards of ten fucking grand, I shit you not.

I have finished my non-metal music selection(s) for metal_community, and I think it will go over well. I took a different approach with this than most, and, rather than uploading albums by specific artists, I sort of made two compilations of various artists under the moniker AIDSOLOGY. Side A is called, "Beats, Scores, And WTFs aka A Nerd's Wet Dream", and Side B is titled, "Regular Tunes For Highly UN-Regular Folks." I will probably also be uploading Gram Rabbit's album Music To Start A Cult To, since I love that whole album. Might even up Pendulum's debut since it's so sickeningly amazing.

May 5th. Broken Steel. Fallout 3 downloadable content. I cannot fucking wait, this is the one we've all been waiting for. Level cap raised from 20 to 30, no more crappy ending, new quests, weapons, perks, enemies... THE FUCKING TESLA CANNON. Son of a bitch I cannot wait. Then Wolverine, Terminator, and Star Trek on my birthday.

Holy shit I almost have 500 hours logged as Heavy in TF2. O_O

So it's been a long goddamn time but hey, life has never been better. Well maybe it was better when I was a kid and didn't have to worry about bills or a job or women or any of that shit but that's arguable, so fuck it!

The move - yeah the one where we went literally next door - went surprisingly smoothly. It wore my mom out, but that's because she did way the fuck more lifting than she should have, and had I known she was gonna be that active I would have told her not to. I even told her beforehand I would do most of the shit, but noooo, she has to do more than she's able.

We keep finding all these little things that make this place a thousand times nicer than the one next door. And I don't mean the big things, like the hardwood flooring and the balcony, I'm talkin' little stuff, like the sprayer installed in the kitchen sink so you can blast the fuck out of any dish and instantly clean it. Or how about the powerful yet quiet fan in the bathroom that never lets it get too steamy when you take a shower? The oven is much nicer, the cupboard space is more suited to our needs, the living room is better lit, the bathroom sink has more powerful water pressure AND a brand new faucet, the sliding glass doors on the shower slide back and forth with ease rather than having no rollers and having to be drug from side to side... This is easily the nicest place we've ever lived. I am still kind of in shock that the rent is the same. Pictures of the whole place will follow soon.

My buddy Alex moved back to town since he can't find work in LA, and we've been hanging a lot. Playing old games (like Eternal Darkness, Rock N Roll Racing, Twilight Princess and Link To The Past), checkin' out comic shops, screaming at crazy people from moving vehicles. He burned me DVDs with Curb Your Enthusiasm on em, which is a fucking hysterical show. It's like the best clips from the Office mixed with the best episodes of Seinfeld. I relate with Larry David so much, always making the most insane arguments over stupid little things that bug him that NO ONE else cares about.

So I think this is the year that I start driving. I'm just so goddamn tired of relying on other people for rides to work when weather conditions aren't perfect. I also need a different job, as CBTL is showing signs that the company is tanking and badly. I won't get into it, but let's just say when they cut bonuses for every single person in management, and suspend the raise system they put into effect for baristas JUST LAST YEAR, AND cut out the fucking plants we're renting (yeah that's right, RENTING), something's fucked.

Okay now let's all smoke pot and sneak into Dragonball Evolution and laugh ourselves into a coma!

~AIDS

P.S. I love when retarded fucksticks say, "You know, evolution is just a theory!" Right, meaning a collection of proven facts gathered neatly together to explain how something functions. That's all. Just a theory. Wow, you really grabbed the concept of skepticism by the balls there, shithead.

Happy Atheism Awareness Day.



Every person is born an atheist. Then religion comes in and... well, you know the rest.

~AIDS

WHAT.

I mean... WHAT?

Yup, looks like it. Mum and I are moving once more. Can you guess where? That's right, NEXT DOOR.

The people that were living next door to us upstairs moved out and into a house in another part of town. So one day the landlords are doing some cleaning and whathaveyou, and I decided to look inside the place... First of all, hardwood floors in the hallway and living room, kay? Second, huge fucking kitchen, but a living room smaller than our enormous one. Third, slightly longer rooms with nicer, thicker carpeting than the flat harsh shit we have. Fourth, a fuckin' balcony! Guess how much different the rent is? None whatsoever!

Apparently, one of the landlord's said that when he built the places back in the late 70's, he designed the one we'll be moving into to be a place for himself, meaning he could live there if he wanted to retire or needed a place to stay. So, I inquired and he said sure, so it looks like a done deal. We'll probably start transferring shit over on the 1st or so, depending on what they have left to do in terms of maintenance and cleaning over there.

Wanna know the main reason we're doing this? Because it makes one hell of a retardedly silly story.

~AIDS

P.S. Watchmen in IMAX was the greatest thing ever. All my dicks, they came.

~AIDS

Dear Capcom,

I would like to take a moment to let you know how disappointed, frustrated, and flat out enraged I am. You somehow managed to take everything that was great about Resident Evil 4 and ruin it in your newest installment in the franchise, Resident Evil 5. You have done the unthinkable, the improbable, the intolerable: you have taken a formula that awarded you over 20 Game Of The Year awards, and completely dismantled it, shoved a dildo full of dynamite up it's ass, and lit the fuse... and you got little pieces of it's brain matter all over us.

I can forgive removing yellow herbs. I can forgive removing typewriters. But what I cannot forgive... Well, how about we just start goin' down the fucking list, eh? First, the upgradable attache case to store your items in was chucked out the fuckin' window and replaced with a non-upgradeable unrealistically-small inventory that you have to access in real-time during a fight for your life, which more often than not it ends up making you lose. Second, the sense of absolute impending doom from not only being completely without aid but having to protect and escort another character with no defensive skills at all is injected with a feeling of comfort and security as you receive assistance from everyone and their fucking mother, including a tag-along AI drone, three - yes THREE - separate squads of disposable NPCs, AND a helicopter unit. Third, the strange but lovable merchant who mysteriously always seems one step ahead of you, always eager to sell you weapons and health, must be off selling fuckin' Steeler playoff tickets somewhere because he is gone, and in his place is this... Piss poor, arbitrary load-out screen that you are forced to access every time you die or complete a level, where by the way you are financially raped in the mouth for almost nothing in return. Who or what exactly are you paying for these upgrades? No one knows. Could be the goddamn tooth fairy for all we know!

The slightly frustrating boss battles that awarded you riches in return for your triumph in RE4 are now rendered astronomically impossible in RE5 were it not for the help of an AI sidekick with a near-perfect ass and perfect accuracy, and you are rewarded with nothing but QTE-ridden (quick-time-event) cut-scenes for your efforts. The horrendously convoluted storyline lays itself out terribly slowly, and the difficulty curve is so jarringly imbalanced that you literally cannot pass the very very first section of the game without calling for backup from a fucking helicopter. I am not kidding in the slightest. And don't even get me FUCKING started on the hand-to-hand combat bullshit.

Despite what the previous paragraphs may convey, I realize this game is not RE4. I get that, really I do. I understand that it's been 5 years, progression is necessary, and things change. I just wish the fucking developers understood that. This game wants to be like it's amazingly successful predecessor half the time, and the other half it spends drunkly stumbling around being obnoxious and trying to get in a fight with you. That's right, Resident Evil 5 is your alcoholic step-brother.

As if getting used to aiming with joysticks again wasn't bad enough, I have to watch my most anticipated game of 2009 play like absolute shit before my very eyes. I have not been this disappointed, infuriated and shocked since 9/11, and I've only had the game for 2. Goddamn. Days. And to top it off, the game itself is about half as short with twice as many cut-scenes. You don't even get to fucking play the game anymore since half of it practically plays itself.

Anyone wanna buy this piece of shit from me? I'll be sure to include all the cheap stupid shit the Collector's Edition came with.

Fuck you, Capcom.

Sincerely
~AIDS

Fuck weekends.

~AIDS

Just got back from Watchmen. tl;dr, 10/10, holy fuck, one of the greatest fucking movies I've ever seen, no complaints, at all. To quote a friend, it was a much different experience than I've ever had watching a film. And yes, in a very very good way. Rorschach is my fucking hero.

Also, I just thought of this: can someone tell me why the fuck theaters don't just let you use your ticket to come back and see the movie you paid to see as often as you want? It would bring in MUCH more business from people who saw it loved it and want to bring someone else, more money from concessions from those people who do come back again, and it would actually make all the work they put into making their tickets counterfeit-proof worth while.

Favorite aspects of the film: (ZOMG SPOILERSZZZZ)

- Rorschach
- Title sequence
- Sex scene (one of the greatest, ever)
- Rorschach
- Opening Comedian fight scene
- Dr. Manhattan
- Guy getting arms cut off by circular saw
- Rorschach

~AIDS

No Lost tonight and it looks like shit outside, so I'm sorta wicked fuckin' sad. Sort of. Kinda. Okay not really, I'm just sorta bored, so I took some pics of my room. I would have taken pictures of myself, but I think my camera would have come to life and tried to kill me screaming some jibberish about the bowels of hell flowing forth.


( Would You Kindly Click This Link? )

~AIDS

Today it is actually warm outside. I took the trash out and giggled like a school girl the entire way. Goodbye winter jackets, heaters and riding to work looking like an eskimo, hello demin vest, sweating like Rush Limbaugh on a treadmill and feeling alive again.

You know, I didn't think waiting two weeks for new Lost would be that bad, but it's starting to get to me. Especially after a 150' tall (unconfirmed, but come on, it's him) Anubis made his cameo appearance. What. The Shit.

Scout update for TF2 left a horrible taste in my mouth. No Meet The Team video, no Valve-created maps, and badly thought-out weapon upgrades for Scout that essentially cripple or entirely ruin the flow of gameplay now. Can barely stand playing now, Scout's new baseball bat needs some kind of nerf pronto. Fuckin' sick and tired of having a solid game plan and watching it crumble to peices because of two Scouts wanting to be dickfucks bonking everyone from 30 feet away.

Dentist things are going well, my deep cleaning is over and for the most part I notice a difference. My gums are healthier, I don't have plaque build up on the back of my bottom front teeth, which is where it was the worst. Gonna definitely need some "extractions" as they call them, which I've come to terms with. Having the stayplate will have to do, as the alternative (two bridges spanning a total of nine teeth, meaning being charged for nine fucking crowns) is a retarded waste of money. My biggest fear is having my wisdom teeth out, because that is heavy duty surgical shit. One is fully "erupted" while the other three aren't exposed at all yet. That means cutting open my gums and ripping them out with giant steel instruments. Yeah, I'm gonna need some fucking nitrous for that shit.

Haven't seen Watchmen, haven't seen Taken. I fail, I know.

Finally got all my posters hung up, my room is essentially complete... what, 5 months after moving in? Pics at some point I suppose...?


Friday the 13th, fuckers. Get ready for mass negrocide LOL.

~AIDS

You want a valid and enlightening argument against Intelligent Design? Show someone a picture of my fucking teeth.

~AIDS

FALLOUT 3 RESIDUAL-SELF-IMAGE CHARACTER SHEET

Name: Phoenora
Gender: Female
HP: 420 (HUR)
Carried Weight: 270 lbs.
Location: Megaton
Level: 20 - Very Good - Last, Best Hope Of Humanity
Primary Armor: Tesla Armor, Tinted Reading Glasses
Primary Weapon(s): A3-21's Plasma Rifle, The Burnmaster, Vengeance
Favorite Galaxy News Radio Song: "Let's Go Sunnin'"

S.P.E.C.I.A.L:
Strength: 7
Perception: 7
Endurance: 7
Charisma: 7
Intelligence: 9
Agility: 8
Luck: 6



Skills: (italics = TAGed)
Barter: 100
Big Guns: 100
Energy Weapons: 100
Explosives: 42
Lockpick: 100
Medicine: 100
Melee Weapons: 32
Repair: 100
Science: 75
Small Guns: 50
Sneak: 38
Speech: 100
Unarmed: 32



Perks:
Action Girl
Adamantium Skeleton
Black Widow
Bloody Mess
Comprehension
Dream Crusher
Educated
Fast Metabolism
Fortune Finder
Here And Now
Intense Training (3) [Endurance, Intelligence, & Agility]
Power Armor Training
Rad Regeneration
Scrounger
Size Matters (2)
Sniper
Solar Powered (FUCK YEAH)
Strong Back
Tag!



*Quote taken from a Chozo Lore entry in Metroid Prime. I thought it was only appropriate. ;D

Rest In Peace, 97.1.

Oh sweet fucking tittytwister my gums are sore. My bottom lip towards the front and my tongue are still numb, but I got the right half of my teeth deep cleaned, and let me tell you the shit that came out of inside my gums would make you guys cringe and weep. I had them give me a mirror so I could see because hey that shit is interesting as hell to me, and it was like watching The Passion Of The Christ happen IN MY MOUTH. I should have been listening to Cannibal Corpse just to seal the whole experience, but sadly I left my iPod at home.

BUT! I have gotten my new computer up and running. Still wondering what to name my harddrives... Got everything installed again: drivers, games, programs, and so far everything is fucking smooth as hell. TF2, Fallout 3, and Far Cry 2 all look significantly better than they used to, and I can run Crysis on High and get 60fps. Unreal. And the version of Windows my friend got me (Windows XP Ultimate Edition) is sweet as hell. I kinda wanna hump this thing's circuits out.

My next appointment is next Monday, at which point I have the left side deep cleaned. Tonight is fat turkey dinner, Lost, assloads of gaming, and laundry. Time to pop come painkillers. IT IS COWARD KEELING TIME!!!

~AIDS

Ole Pete just flew into this town and hes choppin' up aaaaall the women's meat!!!

He keeps hackin n' whackin n' smackin!
He keeps hackin n' whackin n' smackin!
He keeps hackin n' whackin n' smackin!
He just hacks, whacks, choppin' that meat!!!


Best post-apocalyptic gaming murder music ever.

With that in mind, I will soon be ushering in a new era of just such a kind of gaming when the parts for my new PC arrive. Along with getting my teeth worked on, the other thing I wanted to put off until after the holidays that I'm JUST now getting on is upgrading my PC.

I knew I needed a new processor right off the bat to begin with, but then I would need a new motherboard as well since mine is quite old an outdated, and supports almost no good cpus. So, I'll need more RAM, and better quality too. New power supply since mine is making this HORRIBLE FUCKING RINGING NOISE. And finally, a new case to shove it all in since mine is just too damn small and cramped. As it is my air flow is almost nonexistent, I'm constantly having overheating issues that freeze games, etc.

I'd be keeping my HDDs (a new 300 acquired from a friend on the cheap, a 320, and a 750) which are in excellent shape for their age, my sound card which is fine, and my video card (XFX nVidia 8800 GTS) is damn nice for the time being. So, check out what ( a friend and I threw together for just over $600.  )

This will be the first time I've ever had a really stylized trippy uber fancy case before. First time it's ever been a full tower, either. First time using an Intel cpu, but apparently Core 2 Duo is the best... So, this is gonna kick major ass. Gonna do a fresh reinstall of Windows and seal the deal. Fuck I can't wait for this shit to arrive.

LOST. Jeeesus FUCKIN Christ. This show never ceases to top itself. I really can't stress how mindfuckingly awesome this season has been and will continue to be if you're a tr00 fan.

~AIDS

Just got back from my first dentist visit, and man I cannot tell you how well it went. I managed to squeeze it in today instead of Friday, which works perfectly and gets the ball rolling even quicker. Gotta say though, 100% thee best experience I have ever had at a dentist's office. Everyone there was so fucking courteous and nice, and respectful, and had a great sense of humor. Got full x-rays, had some minor cleaning done, laid out some options for what to expect for my orientation in a week, and that was that. My dentist's name is Dr. Khan, so fucking awesome. Shes wicked hot too, so was the assistant who took my x-rays. If my teeth weren't so horribly fucked I woulda tried hitting on them and see where I got. Oh well, at least my insurance is going to get put to good use.

Its Wednesday again, which means the triforce of ownage is upon us: Lost, taco night, and Fallout 3. See you bitches on the flip side.

~AIDS

P.S. New Lamb Of God fucking owns your titties. Also, I don't give a fuck what you think about their music, but this makes them forever bad to the ass in my book. IS BEST THING IN YOU LIFE!

Alright.

I've put this shit off long enough.

I just bought some no-kidding-around heavy duty dental insurance, wicked cheap for the kind of coverage it provides, and my first appointment is Friday at 1pm.

Hope he isn't a douchebag.

*deep breath*

~AIDS

Okay, this motherfucking family next door to us is officially on my shitlist. They all of a sudden have two little dogs (!?) and I don't know much about dogs, like what breeds are what, but they have a small super cute one with shag-carpet-like curly white fur, and a small brown chihuahua-like one thats probably a mixed breed. Whatever, they're both little babies probably no more than a year old. Now that I've established how loveable and awesome they are, these little wastes of human life next door are complete assholes to them. It's mainly the little shithead children, but the brown one gets all the attention, while the white one, who is tied to a fucking old rusty basketball stand by the way, is either told to shut up as it cries like its being choked to death, or they point at it in a negative reinforced manner, is if to say "bad dog." Then they leave the backyard entirely, leaving the little guy to just cry and cry. They came back out with some food and start teasing both of them, watching them jump for it hungrily as they dangle the tortilla pieces above their heads. At that point I couldn't stand it anymore as I seriously felt ill, and as though I were about to start tearing up, so I yelled down from my window in as calm a manner as I possibly could have:

Me: "You need to take care of your dog."

Dipshit Kids: "HuuUUUuuhhHHH? What do you MMEeeeaaaAnNNnnn?"

Me: "Give it some attention for starters. The poor thing sounds like its hungry or something. I dunno man, it's your dog."


No wonder I fucking hate children. You don't fuck with animals around me, homie don't play that. And I mean, that isn't even that horrible, but it just reminds me of all the other cruel bullshit we do to animals, and even to each other. And it makes me think of who or what else these kids do that to, and how they're being raised since their parents clearly condone that kind of behavior, and how that whole family is probably full of people with horrible character flaws, terrible manners, even worse ethics and no morals.

And all I can do is shake my head, and think how those little dogs probably deserve such a better home.

~AIDS